Dustin Junkert


The Important Things are Waiting


I am Sebastian. My first major breakthrough was accepting there is no such thing as non-fiction. What would be required is perfect accuracy and memory.

The sex was no revelation, no breakthrough there. The more familiar I become with the canon of commonplace sexual stunts, the more I felt the whole posturing of society was calculated to make it appear as if sex doesn’t exist.

“I did not even want to discover truth anymore because I had guessed what it was.” Is Tolstoy ‘true to life’ in this excerpt?

“Never mix two different inks.” —J. Herbin, est. 1670. We can start with this, the inks.

Everything Jack Kerouac found exciting he called IT. A weak word, but vague in all the right places.
“We never know it, but whenever anything is known, it is the knower.” The publishing house behind this bit of Schopenhauer is called Everyman.

“The problem with the word ‘ineffable’ is that it implies that something ineffable exists.”

Invariably it was noon when I, exhausted from study, desired the cinema. I bled a mental, pseudo-emotional trail of blood into the closest restaurant and, once and for all, enjoyed a plate of Chile Relleno.

Della happened by the window, emanating waves of beauty, things were everywhere crushed. Beauty and fame are the same.

In a greasy hand, this is what I wrote:

It is acceptable to be one of four things:

  • Truly Brilliant
  • Beautiful
  • Funny
  • Normal

Never mix two different inks. Calculus ended at 3:30. Then, the aftermath.

The choice was either one blanket with a woman, or six without. What cold, my my.



Dustin Junkert: Dustin started writing in order to impress girls. Most girls arenít all that impressed by writing, he has found. But hereís hoping. Dustin lives in Portland, OR. He recently had an essay published in the New York Times, and poems in The Journal, South Carolina Review, the minnesota review, Weber, Georgetown Review, GW Review and New Delta Review.


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MadHat, Issue 15, Winter 2013-2014