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Fiction by
M. E. Parker
 
Music by Paul A. Toth

'House'  2008 Amy Cohen Banker
 
'House' by Amy Cohen Banker
Schpeel

I will tell you that the walls in this house are shorter than most, most walls not most houses, for houses are taller than walls, walls within houses, and if you do not duck you will bump your head if you are taller than most walls within most houses.

I will show you that the doors on these walls stick when they close and are narrower than some, and if you’re fatter than most, most doors that are narrower than some, some doors within walls that are shorter than most, you’ll have to turn sideways to get into the hall.

If you will follow me to the yard you’ll see that the pool has not been filled and the grass is un-mown. You’ll need people to tend the yard and people to work the pool. If you prefer not to swim, the pool people can fill it, the pool, with dirt and plant grass, and the yard people can mow it, the grass in the pool, when they mow the yard.

The house comes with a dog that barks all the time except when he’s eating and sometimes even then, food and saliva, coughing and barking. The dog’s name is Fordeaux, but he is not French. You may rename the dog, but he might not come when you call him or bark back when you tell him to stop barking. He will bark at himself when he hears his own barking and bark at his shadow and your shadow and the cat’s shadow, whose name is Simon, the cat not the shadow. You may not, however, rename the cat, since the cat does not come with the house like the dog that comes with the house and the pool without pool people and the yard without yard people.

I might also mention that the roof has a leak, which has not been fixed. The walls have been painted and the carpet shampooed. And that smell will eventually air out if you open the windows, windows that are larger than most, most windows in walls around houses that are smaller than most. The foundation is cracked, but the house has some trees, one of which is taller than many trees around here. You have no children, but you’ll be next to a school, a school that has kids who are more troubled than most kids who attend schools that are bigger than many, schools in cities that are smaller than most, most cities with schools full of children who are more troubled than most.

It has been fixed, the price not the roof. This property will go fast. They’ll expect an offer that is higher than most, most offers for houses that are smaller than some with doors that are narrow and windows that are larger than most, most windows in houses with schools down the street and a dog in the yard, a yard without yard people with a tree that is taller than many trees on this street.

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last update: February 29, 2008