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j/j hastain

2nd Prize
MadHat Press
2011 Wild and Wyrd Poetry Chapbook Contest

 

excerpts from
dear secondary umbilical,

 

Hastain image 1
click image to enlarge

 

Dear secondary umbilical,

I am overwhelmed by the feeling that it is my responsibility to mature and evolve as form, no matter what the circumstances of my given contexts are.

Called to be a place of personal upholding for the sake of the importance of homeland—
of the aggregate—of eventual.

Urges and urgencies are being refined. Meta-stories are gaining their environments.

The morning when I walked out of my small apartment and the countless worms lay in peristalsis, struggling on the walkway. How I slowly bent down and moved each one of them one at a time, to the saturated grass while humming. Humming more like inverted glow, than like sound.

Noting the significance of the rain on that morning—how it too was a pounding that made stillness within.

This is a discipleship of leavening, showing how the beautiful is reason enough to create tongue for the beautiful.

Similar to the need to know my own un-ownable mouth as an entity that is climaxing in place of it ever being compliant.

To be an unendingly gesticulating image—an effervescing apogee.

 

Dear secondary umbilical,

Take me into a standard of unconditional plethora.

I am asking for this from materiality. I am asking for this from refuted linearity.

I finally identify as effeminate in my body and I want, with a vigilance incomparable to strictly single-planar sentiments.

I want. I want to be
fucked—rocked into eternity as eternity.

I want tabernacles, stained glass and hybrid fruit left as the roughage of each engage.

I want from the inside through force unmitigated by doubt, limit or refusal.

I want it always burgeoning the new, as it burgeons.

Only through this co-activism are the boulders ever removed from my esophagus—
only through this is my breath and speech ever more enabled.

This which is like paint slowly being electrocuted.

And sap that is spilling from the aurora borealis which is becoming unkempt between the legs—a place for the inter to drink.

Through these proclamations I am always erecting a next—a next lifetime through this lifetime—to provoke myself via accelerant-phoenixes.

To be resurrected within this shaking site, without ever having to experience deaths based in finality due to _________ .

 

Hastain image 2
click image to enlarge

 

Dear secondary umbilical,

Water has been discovered in the polar regions of the moon. This matters because I have always believed that amrita3 is literal.

Sacred fluid being secreted—the complicated, vast biologies that depend on just such fluid in order for creation to occur.

Because water is a polar molecule and has both positively and negatively charged ends, it has the aptitude to act as a universal solvent. It is an arc.

The merged parts said “if only to be like those frozen puddles—their reflections, ever offering passage into the other worlds.” Perhaps the regenerative cultivation of an endless liquid, in order to replace all lacerations and previous bouts of distress, is a suitable approach.

How the British prisoners (who as punishment were allowed to be given up to 800 lashings) after a time stopped feeling the pain—understood it as a dull hammering—

I wonder if the place that the body gets to in intensive environments and contacts such as this, is a liquid place.

Can all liquid fuse with other liquid?

Is what we are ultimately awaiting as a species, the great reunion with ourselves as liquid seeped with and exuding liquid?

Through motion and smooth folding we are learning endless-reciprocal—

Oh supple mass.

Like baptism but baptism beyond
permission to baptize.

 

 

 

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3  that which is immortal—a nectar that is obtained through Guru’s word—the place (believed to be geographically located in the moon) where deities and Devas store the liquid core of erotic power—the wetness within that correlates to the cave of Brahma in a human body

 

 

 

 

J/J HASTAIN lives in Colorado, USA with xir beloved. j/j is the author of numerous cross-genre works previously published and forthcoming (a few of which are): prurient anarchic omnibus (Spuyten Duyvil), long past the presence of common (Say it with Stones), a womb-shaped wormhole (BlazeVox), treOOA (with Eileen Tabios/ Marsh Hawk Press). j/jís writing has appeared in numerous journals including Trickhouse, Vlak, Big Bridge, The Offending Adam, Dear Sir, Eccolinguistics, EOAGH, Aufgabe, Queerocracy Art, Masculine Femininities, Caketrain, Plath Profiles, Bombay Gin and PANK The Queer Issue. j/j is currently in the process of curating an Anthology of Queer Nudes (Knives Spoons and Forks Press, 2013) and has helped curate (and participated in) two major Trans anthologies. j/j is an Elective Affinities participant, a member of Dusie kollektiv, writes for Lit Pub and is a regular contributor to Sous Les Paves. j/j currently writes creative reviews for Big Other, Jacket2 and Emprise Review. j/jís work has was appeared in a Queer-focused show at the Leslie-Lohman Annex in New York. j/jís books have been finalists in the Kelsey Street, Grey Book Press, Grace Notes Books, Switchback, Omnidawn, DIAGRAM and Ahsahta book and essay competitions. j/jís work has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and Publishers Triangle. j/jís manuscript extant shamanisms won the Pavement Saw poetry award. In 2011 j/jís book we in my Trans was nominated for the Stonewall Book Award and j/jís book prurient anarchic omnibus was nominated for a Lambda Literary Award. Contact author.

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